She'll never know

Okay, here goes nothing. I need to get this off my chest before it eats me alive. I'm married, happily, I think. Two kids, dog, mortgage, the whole shebang. But before her, there was Sarah. We were young, dumb, and thought we were in love. It was intense, passionate, the kind of thing you only experience once. Then I messed it up. Big time.

I got scared. We were talking marriage, kids, the future, and I panicked. I wasn't ready. So, instead of being honest, I just... ghosted her. Disappeared. Changed my number, moved apartments. I know, I know, it was the coward's way out. I was 22 and a complete idiot.

I've thought about her a lot over the years. Wondered if she's happy, if she ever thinks about me. I saw her picture on Facebook once. She looked good, seemed happy. I almost reached out, but I couldn't. What would I even say? 'Hey, remember me? The guy who broke your heart and then vanished?'

The guilt has been a constant companion. I know it was a long time ago, but it still stings. I hurt her, and I never even apologized. I hope she found someone who loves her the way she deserves, and I hope she never knows it was my fear that made me run, and not her.