She deserves better

I messed up. Big time. I've been married to Sarah for, like, eight years now. We have two amazing kids, a house, the whole deal. Everyone thinks we're the perfect couple. But I've been seeing someone else. Her name's Melissa. It started as just drinks after work, complaining about our bosses. Then it was…more. I don’t even know how it happened. I hate myself for it.

Melissa is…fun. Easygoing. She laughs at my dumb jokes. But Sarah…Sarah is my rock. She holds everything together. She knows me better than I know myself. She’s seen me at my worst and still loves me. She's the best mom in the world.

The guilt is eating me alive. Every time I look at Sarah, I feel like I'm going to throw up. How could I do this to her? To my kids? I keep thinking about the moment she finds out, because she will, eventually. I'm not good at keeping secrets. I see the hurt in her eyes when I come home late, even though she doesn't say anything. She suspects something, I know it.

I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to confess everything, beg for forgiveness. But I'm terrified of losing her. I'm terrified of breaking up our family. Part of me just wants to pretend it never happened, hope it goes away. But that's not fair to anyone, especially not Sarah. She deserves honesty, even if it destroys us. Melissa deserves honesty too. What a mess.

I know I'm a terrible person. I just… I needed to tell someone. Anyone. I don't deserve Sarah, she really deserves so much better than me. I don't know what I'm going to do but something's gotta give.