I'm so, so sorry

It's been years. God, it's probably been close to a decade now. And it still eats me up inside. I was so young, so stupid, so full of myself. I thought I was being clever, being rebellious, being...something other than just a scared kid. But I wasn't. I was just hurting someone I cared about.

Sarah, if you ever read this, I am truly sorry for what I did. For lying about where I was going, for sneaking around with Mark, for breaking your trust. You were my best friend. You were a good person. And I treated you like garbage. I know an apology doesn't fix anything, especially not after all this time. But I needed to say it. I needed you to know that I haven't forgotten. I haven't forgiven myself. I hope, someday, you can forgive me. Even if it's just a little bit. I hope you're happy. I hope you found someone who treats you the way you deserve. I really do.

I was a terrible friend. I'm still ashamed.