I'm So Mad at Myself

I messed up, big time. I told Sarah that Mark was saying stuff about her behind her back, but he wasn't. I just wanted to cause drama because I'm jealous of their friendship. It makes me feel like a terrible person, like I have to make people miserable to feel better about myself. I don't even know why I did it. Now Sarah and Mark aren't talking, and it's all my fault. I want to tell them the truth, but I'm so afraid of what they'll think of me. I hate that I'm this kind of person. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. Maybe I should just disappear. Or just tell the truth and deal with the consequences. I just wish I wasn't so messed up inside.