I'm so jealous of my best friend

Okay, I need to get this off my chest because it's eating me alive. I'm completely, utterly jealous of my best friend, Maria. We've known each other since kindergarten, practically sisters. But lately, all I feel is resentment.

She's got it all. A great job that she loves, a boyfriend who seems perfect (he actually listens to her!), and she's always traveling to cool places. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in a dead-end job, still single, and my biggest adventure this year was trying a new coffee shop.

I know, I know, it sounds awful. A good friend shouldn't feel this way. I *want* to be happy for her, and a small part of me genuinely is. But the bigger part is just green with envy. It's like watching her live the life I always dreamed of, and I'm stuck on the sidelines.

It's affecting our friendship, too. I find myself making snide comments, or avoiding her calls. I hate it! I don't want to lose her, but I can't seem to shake this feeling. I feel like such a terrible person. She's always been there for me, and this is how I repay her?

I don't know what to do. I can't just tell her I'm jealous, that would be so messed up. Maybe I need therapy? Or a serious reality check. I just needed to admit this somewhere, even if it's anonymous. I hope I can get over this. I miss my friend.