I'm a terrible friend

Okay, so, I need to get this off my chest. I've been such a crap friend to Sarah. We've known each other since forever, like kindergarten. And she's always been there for me, through every dumb thing I've done. But lately, I've been so caught up in my own stuff – work, this new guy I'm seeing – that I've totally ignored her.

She's been going through a really rough time. Her grandma died a few weeks ago, and I know how close she was to her. But instead of being there for her, I made some lame excuse about being too busy when she asked me to come over. I haven't even called her to check in. I see her posts on social media, and she's clearly not doing okay, but I just scroll past.

I feel like such a jerk. She deserves so much better. I don't even know how to apologize or if she'll even want to be friends with me anymore. I'm scared I screwed up our friendship for good. Maybe I'm just a selfish person. I don't know what to do but I needed to admit it somewhere. God, I hope she can forgive me someday.