I wasted it all.

I'm writing because I don't know where else to put this. It’s about regret. Just pure, awful, stupid regret. I had a chance, you know? A real chance at something good, something lasting. Her name was Sarah, and she was…everything. Funny, smart, kind. She saw the best in me, even when I was being a total jerk. And I was a jerk. I was young and thought I knew everything. I pushed her away. I was scared, I guess. Scared of being vulnerable, of letting someone in completely. So, I created problems, picked fights, and eventually, she left.

It's been ten years. Ten years of seeing her face in every crowd, of wondering 'what if.' She's married now, has kids. I see her sometimes at the grocery store. We exchange polite smiles, but the silence screams. It screams of everything I threw away, everything I could have had. I messed up. I know everyone says that, but I really messed up. It wasn't a mistake; it was a conscious choice to be an idiot. Now, I just sit here, surrounded by the ghosts of 'what could have been'. The worst part? I don't even deserve a second chance. I just have to live with the knowledge that I wasted the best thing that ever happened to me. All because I was too afraid to be happy. God, I was stupid.