I Still Feel Guilty About the Earrings

Okay, Sacred Posts, here goes nothing. I need to get this off my chest. It's been eating at me for years, and I don't know why it still bothers me so much. It's about a pair of earrings. Stupid, right?

I was maybe, like, ten or eleven. My best friend, Emily, had these amazing earrings. They were little silver dolphins, and I was obsessed with them. Shiny, perfect dolphins. I wanted them SO BAD. Emily wore them all the time, and I would just stare at them. I remember thinking how lucky she was to have them. My family didn't have a lot of money back then. We got clothes from the thrift store, and new toys were a big deal for Christmas and birthdays only. So getting something like those earrings felt impossible.

One day, we were at Emily's house, playing in her room. Her mom called her downstairs for something, and she left me alone for a few minutes. That's when I saw them. The dolphin earrings were on her dresser. Just sitting there.

I don't know what came over me. I looked around, made sure no one was watching, and I took them. I just slipped them into my pocket. I remember my heart was pounding so hard, I thought Emily would hear it even downstairs. When she came back, I acted totally normal. We played for another hour or so, and then I went home.

I felt terrible the whole time. But I also felt...happy? I wore the earrings to school the next day. I felt so cool and grown-up. Emily noticed them right away. She looked sad and asked if they were new. I lied. I said my aunt had given them to me.

For weeks, I wore those stupid earrings. I even slept in them. But the guilt just kept building. I knew what I did was wrong. It wasn't just that I stole something; I lied to my best friend.

Eventually, Emily stopped wearing earrings altogether. I think she was too sad about losing them. I felt like a monster. After a few weeks, I couldn't take it anymore. I stopped wearing them. They sat in my jewelry box, mocking me.

I never told Emily. We drifted apart in high school, and now we live in different states. I see her on Facebook sometimes, and the guilt just comes rushing back. I still have the earrings. They're tucked away in a box in my closet. I can't bring myself to throw them away. I don't know why. Maybe I should just mail them to her with an anonymous note. Or maybe I should just keep them as a reminder of how awful I can be. I just...I wish I could take it back. It seems so small now, but it really messed me up for a long time.