I Still Feel Guilty About the Concert Tickets

Okay, so this is gonna sound stupid, I know it. But I gotta get it off my chest. It's been bugging me for years. It's about some stupid concert tickets.

Back in college, I was dating this girl, Amy. She was really into this band, 'Crimson Echoes'. They were like, her everything. I didn't really care for them, but I pretended to because, you know, you do dumb things when you're trying to impress someone.

Anyway, Crimson Echoes announced a show near us, and Amy was freaking out. She HAD to go. Tickets were selling out fast, and she was refreshing the page every five seconds. I told her I'd help, that I'd try to get some too.

Well, I actually managed to snag two tickets. I was pretty proud of myself, even though I didn't care about the band. I thought Amy would be over the moon. But then, my buddy Mark called. He had tickets to see this other band I *actually* liked, a way smaller, local group that was supposed to be really good live. The same night.

Here's where I messed up. Instead of telling Amy I had the Crimson Echoes tickets, I told her I didn't get any. Lied right to her face. Said they sold out too fast. I felt bad, but I really wanted to see that other band with Mark.

So, I went to the show with Mark, had a decent time, and totally blew Amy off. She was bummed about missing Crimson Echoes, but she eventually got over it. Or so I thought.

The thing is, I never told her the truth. It's been like, six years. We broke up a year later for totally unrelated reasons (we were just different people). But every now and then, I think about those stupid concert tickets. I imagine her being so disappointed, and me just… lying. It makes me feel like a complete jerk.

I know it's just a small thing, a silly little lie. But it feels bigger than it is. It feels like it represents something about me I don't like – that I’m willing to prioritize my own wants over someone else’s feelings, and that I’d rather lie than deal with an uncomfortable situation.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe I just need to admit it to someone, even if it's a bunch of strangers online. I guess… I'm just sorry, Amy. I was a selfish idiot back then, and I probably still am. I hope you got to see Crimson Echoes eventually.