I screwed up big time

Okay, so I need to get this off my chest. I messed up. Really messed up. It's eating me alive. It's about Sarah, my girlfriend. We've been together for like, three years, and things were… good. Comfortable, you know? Maybe too comfortable.

This new girl, Chloe, started at work. And she's… fun. Flirty. The kind of energy I hadn't felt in a while. We started grabbing lunch together, then drinks after work. I know exactly how this sounds. It wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but it did. One thing led to another, and I cheated on Sarah. Once. Just once. But it was enough.

The guilt is crushing me. Sarah is the best person I know. She's kind, she's supportive, she puts up with all my crap. She doesn't deserve this. Chloe... she doesn't know what Sarah and I have. She just sees the fun, easygoing side of me.

I haven't told Sarah. I don't know if I can. It would break her heart. But keeping it in is killing me. I keep thinking about it, replaying it in my head. I hate myself for it. Part of me wants to confess, to beg for forgiveness. But another part is terrified of losing her. Of destroying everything we've built. I’m walking around like a ghost, knowing that I am capable of something so awful. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I don’t deserve her or Chloe. I just want the crushing weight to be lifted, even if it means losing everything.