I messed up, and I don't know how to fix it.

Dear Sacred Posts,

I need to get this off my chest because it's eating me alive. I cheated on my girlfriend, Sarah. It happened a few weeks ago at a work conference. I had way too much to drink, and I was feeling lonely and pathetic, surrounded by all these 'successful' people. This woman, a colleague from another department, started talking to me, and she seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. One thing led to another, and we ended up back at her hotel room.

I hate myself for it. Sarah is the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's kind, funny, smart, and beautiful. She doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve her. I keep replaying the night in my head, trying to understand why I did it. Was it the alcohol? The loneliness? The insecurity? I honestly don't know. All I know is that I made a terrible mistake, and I'm terrified of losing her.

The guilt is crushing me. I can barely look her in the eye. I'm constantly on edge, worried that she'll find out. I know I should tell her the truth, but I'm so scared of hurting her. I'm afraid of what will happen if I tell her. Will she leave me? Will she ever forgive me? I don't know if I could handle that.

Part of me thinks I should just keep it a secret and try to move on. Pretend it never happened. But I know that's not the right thing to do. The lie would eat away at me, and it would eventually poison our relationship. Plus, she deserves to know the truth, no matter how painful it might be.

I've considered talking to a therapist, but I'm embarrassed to admit what I've done. It feels like such a pathetic, cliché story. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck between wanting to confess and wanting to protect her from the pain. I feel like I've ruined everything.

I guess I'm writing this because I need some kind of guidance. Has anyone else been through something similar? What did you do? How did you cope? Did you tell your partner? What was the outcome? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I just feel so lost and alone right now.