I ghosted her and I still feel sick

Okay, so I met this girl, Sarah, online. We talked for weeks, and I actually started to think, 'Wow, this could be something.' We went out a few times, and she was… amazing. Funny, smart, liked the same dumb movies as me. But here's the thing: I'm a coward. Plain and simple.

She started talking about, like, actually dating. Exclusivity. And I panicked. I have this stupid thing where I self-sabotage. I get scared things will go wrong, so I just… bail. So, I stopped texting back. I blocked her on everything. Vanished. Like a total jerk. It's been six months, and I still feel awful about it. I replay it in my head all the time. What a terrible way to treat someone. I never gave her a reason. I never explained. I just disappeared. I know it's pathetic, but I needed to get it off my chest. I hope she's doing okay. I really do.