I cheated. I'm so sorry.

It was a stupid mistake. A drunken night, a work trip, someone who paid attention to me when my husband hadn't in a long time. That doesn't excuse it, I know. I hate myself for it. I hate that I broke the promise I made. I hate that I could hurt someone I love so much. He deserves better. He's a good man, a good father.

I haven't told him. I don't know if I ever will. The guilt is eating me alive. Every time he looks at me, every time he smiles, I feel like I'm going to throw up. How can I be so happy with him and so disgusted with myself at the same time? I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I just needed to tell someone, even if it's just the internet.